PAWESOME CARROT IMMUNI-TREATS: DECEMBER 16TH, 2024

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ALAS, SWEET VICTORY IS MINE!

LET US BOW OUR HEADS IN A MOMENT OF SILENCE TO CELEBRATE TODAY’S GLORIOUS ENDEAVOUR. A BOMB MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE DETONATED IN MY 2FT KITCHEN (RIP COUNTERTOPS), AND MY SINK APPEARS TO HAVE DECLARED ITSELF A WAR ZONE- BUT IT WAS WORTH IT. THE MOLDS? TINY. BITE-SIZED STARS OF PERFECTION. YOU KNOW THE ONES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE THE DOG-PARENT MARTHA STEWART? MINI TURKEY BASTER IN HAND, FOOD TRANSFER TO THE FRIDGE WAS SMOOTHER THAN A CRIMINAL MOONWALKING ACROSS COUNTERTOPS (CUE HALLELUJAH.) NOW… WE WAIT. BUT, JUST IMAGINE FOR A MOMENT THAT THE UNIVERSE LAUGHS IN MY FACE. THE MOLDS DON’T SET. THE $1 TEMU BOOTLEG SILICONE BETRAYS ME-MY PRECIOUS CREATION CRUMBLES INTO A PILE OF SAD JELLY GOO. A SO-CALLED “TOPPER” NO ONE ASKED FOR, NOW USED OUT OF PURE SPITE (AFTERALL, WASTE NOT- WANT NOT….) TWO HOURS AND COUNTING – FRIENDS... PRAY FOR ME HAHA